Monday, August 24, 2009

Another year

First day of the academic semester, 09-10. I'm glad to reach this point. If you don't know, I work at a University and can compartmentalize life & work into the seasons of the school year. I pretty much "lost" the Spring 09 semester: I went down hard with PM in January/February, and then spent most of March and April simply trying to become functional again with the basics such as walking, getting around my own house, and simple self-care. Over the summer, I slowly but steadily gained strength and functionality. I had hoped to feel full-strength and fully engaged by the time that the new school year came. I wouldn't say that I am 100%, but I feel pretty close in this context.
I still don't have much going on in the way of extracurricular activities... I can run several miles at a time, but my ability here isn't very consistent or dependable yet. Some days I feel strong and ready to go, other days an easy 5-miler is a hard day's work. I have lost a little bit of the fire that was under my seat with my training and physical work. At the beginning, I was so grateful to be able to increase my activity, and I could feel myself getting stronger. The pace of improvement has slowed as I have gotten closer to normal, so it feels more like work now, and is a little harder to keep at the grind. I find myself brushing off workouts much more easily now that I'm out of that honeymoon phase. I'd like to get that "edge" back at some point.
I am currently down to 20 mgs/day of prednisone. I have felt tired lately, and a little mentally dull. I am going to chalk it up to drug reduction, which has seemed to be the source of most of my physical tweaks. I am still walking the tightrope, and I often worry about where the disease is... how close the wolves are to the door.
This update is not very exciting, just a check-in. Things are going well. For the most part, I feel a sense of normalcy in life, which is really all that you want when things are so bad with your disease that you can't imagine a normal life again. That's not to say that it comes easily... there is alot of work and planning now that goes into performing daily roles. I still feel a sense of loss with the active, physical part of my self that I would love to get back. I have started to plan some races for the next year, and hope that I can see them through.
Next rheumatologist appointment is in 2 weeks.

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