Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Alopecia

While we're at it, I've decided that I'm not done talking about alopecia. I was recently asked why I'm so open with it. The answer was simple: it's kind of hard to miss. Aside from simple visual logistics, though, there are other reasons. In order of lighter to deeper...

1) I can do the things that I want to do much more easily. I can sweat and get dirty without worrying about it. I can hang my head out of a car window and feel the sensation of 50 mph on my face. I can jump into the river/lake/pool whenever it looks good. I can get ready in 15 minutes.
2) It feels good to be open. I always felt like I was hiding something by wearing a wig. No more shock and awkward explanation when you find out that I'm *surprise!* bald.
3) I sometimes feel that it endears me to others. Most of us have some kind of imperfection, insecurity, flaw, issue, or whatever. Mine happens to be out there in the open. It's obvious that I'm a little different, so it's ok if you are too. Tell me about it. I might understand.

One reason (among many, of course) that my muscles and athletic pursuits are so important are that they give me confidence. I didn't always feel this way about alopecia. I used to think that it ruined my life, that I could never be truly happy because happiness meant that I had to have hair. But age, experience, and wonderful people have taught me otherwise. And it turned out that validation and self-worth come from way better sources than hair. I grew to be confident without it. Being good at sports helped. So, you see, I need my muscles. I'd have to start all over again and find something else to make being bald not so bad.

3 comments:

  1. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings. I've been a little low in the self-esteem/confidence department since being diagnosed with DM and two failed attempts to return to work. My doctor called me a disabled person today and that knocked me down too. I guess I am, maybe just haven't come to terms with all aspects of this disease.

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  2. What you are bald? Boy did I miss something!! Just kidding KT keep up the positive attitude, I am behind you all the way. Now get your butt out here to DC to see my new place. Love ya, Tupper

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  3. KT,

    Can I tell you that you inspire me? You are an amazing person and I respect your honesty. I am all about genuine people and you are certainly a shining example. You are in my prayers. Miss you!

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