Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Unintentional Comedy

I don't know how funny any of this is. Probably not very if you're not reaching hard to find the humor in this like I sometimes do. I have stumbled across a few body oddities that reinforce the feeling that I am somebody's 6th grade science fair project gone haywire. So, from the files of "you have to laugh at this stuff or you'd cry your eyes out"...

I have experienced muscle atrophy just about everywhere, one place being in my rear end. As a result, I have extra skin that gravity places right in the spot where my butt cheek meets the back of my leg. This skin folds over when I sit, compounded by more-pronounced-than-usual bones that dig into the chair. I therefore have to reach down and adjust the extra skin fold under my cheeks when I sit down, which must look awkward and a little socially taboo, kind of like a baseball player who can't keep his hands off of his crotch.

Due to either Prednisone or immune suppression doing double-duty on my alopecia, I am experiencing hair for the first time in several years. It's freaking me out. It's on my head, although about the equivalent of a newborn's in quantity and thickness. That's the fun part. However, it is also growing out of my nose at an alarming rate. Right up there with nails on a chalkboard is the stinging tears reflex you get when you pluck a nose hair. Speaking of plucking, I have eyebrows for the first time in a long, long time. They are starting to get unruly, but I don't know what to do. I'll have the tweezers in my hand, ready to pluck, but it just seems to go against everything I've felt in battling alopecia for so long. Why would I pluck an eyebrow when they're all I've ever wanted?

Experimentation with hair removal has also been interesting. I have tried Nair-ing my mustache and beard a couple of times, but there is a problem with this. The hair does a nice job of covering the acne. I am faced with a decision. Beard or pimples? Why do I even care with a unibrow that I can't bring myself to pluck and small forest growing out of my nose?

Ah, the world of bum-adjusting and facial hair removal. It is kind of fun to say, "I'll have to call you back, I'm Nair-ing my beard right now". (true story)

1 comment:

  1. If you look around, you can find some high quality little scissors perfect for clipping nose, eyebrown and ear hairs. There are also mini electric trimmers available.