Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Can't all be astronauts when we grow up

Ok, since it's the Methotrexate dose day, an update on meds: as of one week ago, Prednisone 60mg/day and Methotrexate 20mg/week. Side effects = pressure in eyes, acne, facial hair, and detecting some mania and obsessive/compulsive tendencies such as the desire to re-organize my kitchen cabinets and sock drawer for the 20th time. I am a little puffy in the face and abdomen, but it's really not that bad (knock on wood). The insomnia has also gotten better since I first started the steriods, although I wouldn't say that I'm sleeping well. Sleep is still broken and doesn't feel deep and restful, but I don't lie awake all night like I did at first. I know that the effects are cumulative and build up in your system over time, but I still feel fortunate that I am merely uncomfortable and not miserable, because I know that alot of folks struggle to tolerate this stuff.

Dog bite feels a little better today, hopefully I'll get out of this one without some kind of infection. At least it looks cool. You can two deep incisor marks and then a row of bottom teeth underneath, making the shape of a smiley face.

So, the subject of this post. I've said it to friends already, hopefully it's not just whimsical talk. I'm qualified for the 2010 Boston marathon. If you qualify in a race towards the end of the calendar year, it's good for the next 2 years. So, my goal is to cash in my 2010 qualification. There, it's out. Hopefully, it's also going to be do-able, and not some impossible delusion. Ah, the balance between being a optimist and a realist. Working to break boundaries without wasting potential banging your head against boundaries that just can't be broken. How do you know? When do you adjust dreams that can't come true? Is it giving up? Or is it healthy perspective? My mother tells me that I wanted to be a scarecrow when I grew up. Well, that never happened, although I think it made my mother nervous enough to go out and buy me a play doctor's kit. I never became a doctor, though. Nor president. And how many kids say that they will be one or both of these things when they grow up, and then end up as recreation center managers (like me)? I love these:

http://www.despair.com/potential.html

Good stuff. Boston 2010, along with a trip on the space shuttle. We'll see which one happens first.

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